September 22, 2014

Ex Wife

With divorce rates hovering near 43% (yes, it’s not quite 50%) many men in the United States have an ex wife. Sometimes, they can be bitter towards their ex wife, while some still may love their ex wife. A lot of it depends on how much alimony the ex wife gets and how she deals with the children!

Lots of factors can lead to ex wives, including either party cheating or the marriage simply dying. Having worked with many men who have an ex wife, here’s my advice for getting over an ex wife and moving on. Because I know one thing: it isn’t easy!

First, I will address men who are still in love with their ex wives. If you are this type of man, ask yourself why you have an ex wife to begin with. If she didn’t leave you, then why did you leave her? If you left, then your life with your ex wife must not have been too ideal. Why do you think she would change after time spent apart? If you get sentimental for your ex wife, just remember why you left your ex wife to begin with!

If you are a man who hates your ex wife, you need some help too. Sure your ex wife may be a bitch. In fact, a lot of women are nasty to men, especially when they realize that the courts favor women, even manipulative, troubled ones. But, does your ex wife dominate your thoughts? Do you dwell on how much you hate your ex wife? If so, then now’s the time to let go of your ex wife, bro. Even if she’s getting some of your money, don’t give her any more power. Don’t give your ex wife your dignity too.

If you have children with an ex wife, then my advice to let go is probably not easy. You may need to have your ex wife in your life, even if for the sake of the kids. If this is your situation, then treat your ex wife with dignity, even if she’s not nice to you. Your kids will see the truth about your ex wife when they get older. Don’t make them find out that you are petty or insecure and not a good example. Trust me, when they get older, they will see her for how she really is. Don’t let them grow up and find out that you are the idiot.

Hopefully you have a good ex wife who you’re friends with. But if you’re not, my tips for dealing with an ex wife should help. In time you’ll be able to move on to someone else. However, pick the right person and don’t rush into a marriage. Otherwise you’ll just be dealing with an ex wife all over again, buddy.

If you have your own tips for dealing with ex wives or just general comments, please leave them in the comments section below. Click “post to Facebook” to share your thoughts with your Facebook wall.

Stepdaughter

A stepdaughter is a girl that lives in a blended family. Basically, a step daughter lives with a non biological parent and a step parent. A stepdaughter doesn’t always have an easy time in life. She often has to encounter divorce, a new parent and a family, possible relocation to a new school, etc. And, the step daughter typically has to find a way to address these problems as a child! However, it’s just as tough for the parents of stepdaughter too. Here is some advice to help make blended families work.

Step daughters and their parents must first recognize that life involves both give and take. A step daughter can’t expect to get her way whenever she wants it. The parents of a stepdaughter must also be sensitive to the needs of their step daughter and compromise. Sometimes the step daughter can be spoiled. That behavior must end quickly. Otherwise the stepdaughter can bring strife to the family.

Second, the stepdaughter and her mom and dad must answer discipline questions. A step daughter will typically try to turn her natural parent against the new step parent to get what she wants. A stepdaughter must never be allowed to do this consistently since it will create chaos. The natural parent may want to handle all discipline or possibly delegate some duties to the step parent. This is fine, but the natural parent must support the decisions of the step-parent or it will confuse and embolden the stepdaughter.

Third, if a new baby enters the family, the stepdaughter may have to address jealous feelings and sulking. I advise trying to get the step daughter to bond with the child and even take on a few responsibilities so the step daughter can be emotionally connected to the child. Don’t go too far, though, by forcing the step daughter to babysit. She could resent the new child which is bad.

Finally, the step daughter and her parents must learn to love as a family. Love will never be equal (a step daughter may keep score), but you should always give the step daughter the same love and affection you show the non step daughter. The step daughter should then show respect to the step-parent.

As you can see, it’s not hard to make a blended family with a step daughter work. It just takes a little effort on the part of parents and the step daughter.

If you have tips to get along with a stepdaughter, please share them in the comments. Click “post to Facebook” to share your step daughter advice with your Facebook wall.

Stepson

A stepson is a male child who joins a blended family. Thus, he is related to either the mother or father in the blended family. The parent he is not related to biologically is called a step-father or step-mother. Stepson is sometimes spelled as two words: step son.

The stepson doesn’t have it easy. A step son has to put up with divorce, a new marriage, a new family with new siblings, and maybe relocation. In most cases the stepson has to deal with these problems as a child. And if a new, biological son of the couple is born, the step son must handle even more difficult feelings like jealousy. I’ve developed a few techniques to help parents and their stepson.

If you’re a stepson yourself or the parent of a step son, you have to accept one important truth. Life is about both giving and taking. A stepson must never get his way all the time and the parent must always be willing to compromise when it’s appropriate. If the parent was a single mother and spoiled the stepson, both parties must break that expectation for the new blended, family to work. The parents and step son should come to an agreement that benefits every family member, not just one single person.

Second, the stepson and his parents have to be consistent on giving and receiving discipline. A step son may try to turn his natural parent against the new step-parent. This behavior can poison the new family’s life if not stopped immediately. The natural parent may want to handle all discipline issues or give some to the step parent. However, the natural parent must back up the step-parent fully. The step son needs then listen to the step parent and not argue.

Third, if a new child is born, the stepson could deal with jealous feelings which may lead to angry outbursts. Try to get the stepson to bond with the new baby and even give him responsibilities so that he feels connected to the new child. But, don’t ever force the step son to be your babysitter or he may resent the new child and feel hostility towards the parents too.

Finally, the stepson and his parents must make sure the family is loving. While love can never be equal (a step son may develop a keeping score mentality), always make an effort to show the step son the same love and interest you give the non step son. The stepson should give love and respect to his step-parent too.

Thus, a stepson and parents of the step son can definitely make a healthy and happy blended family. It’s never going to be perfect, for sure, but with these techniques, the stepson and his family members can avoid the problems that plague so many blended families.

If you have more advice about raising a stepson, please leave a comment. Click “post to Facebook” so share your thoughts on your wall.

Nephew

The basic definition of a nephew is the male son of someone’s brother or sister. A nephew can be related through blood, but a nephew can also be related through marriage. How a nephew is related isn’t even that important. What matters most is that nephews can count on their aunt and uncle during rough patches. A nephew should be able to get advice, facts, and unconditional love from his aunt and uncle, especially if he can’t get that at home.

I have a favorite nephew who goes by Buzz. His real name is Chase. I’m lucky to have a loving and considerate nephew since some people don’t even have a nephew. I tried hard to be a good uncle to my nephew and wanted to share my tips about how to have a positive relationship with your nephews. These tips and advice are especially valuable if your nephew had a traumatic childhood or was missing a father.

First, you’ll probably have to initiate contact with your nephews. A nephew, especially a preteen or teenager may not reach out to an adult because he doesn’t think it’s cool. You need to pick something fun to do with your nephew, like going to a sports game or a concert. If your nephew doesn’t trust adults, especially if he has no father in his life, don’t expect him to warm up immediately. Be patient and let your nephew move at his own pace. Don’t try to push him to talk or he may withdraw.

Second, once your nephew trusts you and likes you, you must be an active listener. A nephew, like most teens, probably has a natural distrust of his parents, believing that they judge him or don’t like him. Don’t interrupt him, yell at him, or condemn your nephew because then you turn into just another adult. Let your nephew share his thoughts and then repeat what he says back to him so he knows you’re listening. Don’t give advice to your nephews yet.

Finally, once you’ve built trust, you can share your wisdom with your nephew. Be nice and generous , but don’t become so familiar that you can’t be the adult if your nephew needs you. For example, if your nephew threatens to kill himself, you must call for help, even if your nephew dislikes you for awhile.

Thus, you can grow closer to your nephew and be a good influence in his life, especially if you are a male role model. It isn’t difficult to have a good relationship with your nephews. A good friendship with your nephew just takes a little of your time, a lot of patience, and good sense in knowing when to keep your mouth closed.

If you have a favorite nephew or just want to share your own advice about nephews, leave a comment in the box below. Click “post to Facebook” to share your thoughts with your Facebook friends.

Niece

A niece, by definition, is the female daughter of someone’s brother or sister. A niece can be related by blood or by marriage. How a niece is related isn’t really important. What matters is that nieces can rely on her aunt and uncle in times of need. In addition, a niece may find wisdom and advice and facts from an aunt and uncle that she couldn’t find from her parents.

I have a favorite niece named Elizabeth. OK, she’s also my only my niece. However, I consider myself fortunate to have her since not everyone is blessed with nieces. I worked hard to be a good uncle to my niece and thought I would share a few tips about how to have a special relationship with your nieces. These are especially helpful if your niece has had trauma in her life and needs a stable adult presence.

First, you may need to reach out to your niece. A niece, especially a preteen or teenager, may be reluctant to reach out to an adult, even a relative. Once you contact her, your niece would probably prefer to do something fun, like go to a movie or out for dinner. If your nieces don’t trust adults, don’t expect them to open up immediately. Be patient and let your niece share with you. Don’t pry or your niece may not want to be around you.

Second, once your niece trusts you, you should be an active listener. A niece, like most young people, probably has a natural distrust of her parents, feeling that they judge her. Don’t interrupt, yell, or condemn your niece because then you’re just another adult in her mind. Let your nieces say their thoughts and then, you can repeat what they say. Don’t try to give advice to your niece yet.

Finally, you can start to build trust and share your wisdom with your nieces. You will want to be nice to them, but not become too chummy so that you can’t act as an adult with your niece if you need to. For example, if your niece threatens suicide, you need to call the authorities, even if it makes you unpopular with your niece.

Thus, you can get close to your niece and be a good influence in her life. It isn’t hard to have a good relationship with your niece. A good friendship with your niece takes time, patience, and knowing when to keep your mouth shut.

I hope you found this essay on nieces helpful. If you have a favorite niece or want to share your own advice, please leave it in the comments section. Click “post to Facebook” to share your comment with your Facebook wall.

Uncle

An uncle is a relative, specifically the brother of a child’s father or mother or the husband of an aunt. An uncle could be an uncle by blood or an uncle by marriage. The children in the relationship are called a nephew and niece. However, how uncles are related doesn’t matter as much as the value an uncle can bring to a family.

In this age of distant families, having an uncle is becoming less common. The extended family that used to dominate the entire world has given way, at least in the United States and Europe, to the nuclear family. While not a problem, this means that many children have very little contact with aunts, uncles, and other relatives.

This is sad since many kids throughout history have made great memories of a favorite uncle or aunt. An uncle can give another perspective to children than their parents. Also, the uncle can earn a child’s trust in a way that parents cannot. Thus, many people have childhood memories of cool uncles who taught them lessons about life.

Growing up, my favorite uncle was Uncle Terry. I always liked the way Uncle Terry ran his business. My Uncle Terry taught me the value of money and how to make it honestly and with integrity. My parents didn’t run a business, so they couldn’t speak to that topic like my uncle. I also had an Uncle Bert who told me about the birds and the bees when my mom and dad would not, at least not in honest terms!

The role of the kind uncle is found in the media. In the Wizard of Oz, Uncle Henry acts as a father figure for Dorothy and treats her with love and kindness. However, the evil uncle can be found in the media too. This uncle image is seen in the Who’s Tommy where the wicked Uncle Ernie abuses poor Tommy. Sadly, some nieces and nephews know this kind of uncle in real life, not just through famous examples.

I hope that every kid would have the pleasure of knowing a favorite uncle and want to make sure that my sons see their uncle regularly to learn from him. I hope my children will reminisce with fondness on their favorite uncle the way I look back fondly on Uncle Bert and Uncle Terry. Sadly, with so many families separated by distance or economics many little ones will never know loving uncles. Why not get a gift for uncle today as a sign of your love and appreciation? Maybe you could even write an uncle poem.

If you have a great uncle, why not leave a comment and tell the world about him? You can click “post to Facebook” and show your friends list how much you value your uncle.

Aunt

An aunt is a type of relative, specifically the sister of a child’s father or mother or the wife of the uncle. The children are her niece and nephew. Thus, an aunt can be a blood or a non-blood relative. However, how an aunt is related is not as important as what aunts can bring to the life of a family.

In this age of smaller families, having an aunt or more than one aunt is increasingly less common. In the past, aunts and uncles and other relatives were an important part of the extended family, all of whom played a big role in raising children. However, this model of the family with many aunts and uncles has given way to the nuclear model of mom, dad, and the children.

This is unfortunate since many of us have great memories of a favorite aunt and uncle. Oftentimes, an aunt can provide a different perspective to children than their parents. The aunt can gain a child’s trust in a way that a father or mother cannot. Thus, many people have childhood memories of cool aunts who taught them about life or was there for them when their father or mother were not available, either literally or emotionally.

Growing up, my favorite aunt was Aunt Kathy. I always liked the way Aunt Kathy made prepared her food and would judge them better tasting than the cooking of my mom and dad. I also had an Aunt Carolyn who would let me eat cookies when my parents said no. An aunt has the advantage of having fun with her nieces and nephews and then can pawn them off on the parents when they get rowdy!

The role of the kindly aunt is found in the media as well. In the Andy Griffith Show, Aunt Bee became a beloved figure. Many children then and now wished they had such a perfect, nurturing aunt in their lives. Other examples of a famous aunt is found in the wizard of Oz where Aunt or “auntie” Em acts as Dorothy’s mother figure and treats her with great love and kindness.

I wish that every child would have the joy of knowing favorite aunts and I make sure that my daughters see their aunt regularly to learn from her wisdom. I hope my little ones can look back with fondness on their favorite aunt the way I look back fondly on my love for aunts Kathy and Carolyn. Sadly, with so many families broken apart by distance or other factors many kids will never know a loving aunt.

Please share facts about aunts or even the name of a special aunt in your life in our comments section. Click “post to Facebook” to share your comment with your friends list.

Sister

Sister can mean different things for different people. The most basic definition of sister is a female in relation to the other siblings of parents. This is the most common usage of sister. However, the term sister has a far broader meaning than just a natural sibling.

First, sister has a religious connotation, especially in the Christian Faith. For Catholics, a sister is a religious who takes a vow of poverty, chastity, and obedience. The woman is called a sister and is usually addressed as sister followed by her first name.

Sometimes sister is used in the evangelical churches to describe a female with whom one shares the same Christian faith. Thus, sisters refers to the relationship of female believers with each one having God as their father. At revival and church meetings it’s common to hear believers refer to other females as “sister” so-and-so.

Sister also speaks of our connection to each other as human beings. We call our fellow female humans sisters to show that we are united, brother and sister, in the human race. Sister is used by idealists who want everyone to get along. So, calling each other sister describes our interconnectedness. Sometimes this use of sister is associated with hippies or liberals.

Sister is also a slang term used in the African American culture. Blacks will call females of that race their sister to emphasize the solidarity they share as blacks, especially black women. The term sister was more widely used in the 70s and 80s, but sister is often used today in this context too. For example, Sister Souljah was a rap artist of the 90s and is still active today.

Another sister is important too: a good friend who is like a sister. This friend is sometimes called a sister from another mother, which implies that the friend is so close that she could be a literal blood sister. We can all find information and facts that point to friends and classmates that we view like sisters and brothers.

Throughout history there have been many famous sisters. There aren’t as many well-known sisters in the past because ancient writers were more concerned with males. However, the Grimke sisters were famous in abolishing slavery and the Bronte sisters were great authors. Today, Venus and Serena Williams are famous athlete sisters. Jackie and Joan Collins and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are famous actress sisters.

We hope you enjoyed this sister page. If you want to comment about your sister or share famous sisters we’ve missed, please leave a comment. Choose “post to Facebook” to share you comment with your friends.

Brother

The word brother conjures up many different images for different people. The most natural definition of a brother is a male in relation to the other children of certain parents and this is what many people think of when they hear brother used. However, this type of brother is not the only definition of the term.

First, brother has a religious usage, especially in Christianity. In the Catholic Church a brother is a religious who has taken a vow of poverty, chastity, and obedience (1). A person who chooses this lifestyle is usually addressed as brother so and so (e.g. Hello Brother Thomas). However, sometimes brother is used in a general sense to describe a male with whom one shares the Christian faith. In this case, brothers refers to the relationship of male believers with God as father.

Second, brother can be used to refer to our connection to each other as humans. We call our fellow males brothers to indicate that we are all united, brother and sister, in the human race. Brother is typically used in this sense by idealists. In this way, calling each other brother emphasizes our connectedness. The song “ Brother Can You Spare A Dime?” and “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother“ are good examples of this usage.

Finally, brother is a slang term used among the African-American community. The facts show that black people will call males in that race their brother to emphasize the solidarity they share as blacks, especially black men. The term brother was more widely used in the 70s and 80s, but can be used today in this context too.

Another brother is worth mentioning: the friend who is like a brother. This is sometimes called a brother from another mother, which implies that the friend is so close that he might as well be a blood related brother. Many individuals have experiences of being let down by real brothers and sisters but finding a strong family like relationship with good friends from school or the neighborhood.

Throughout history, there have been many famous brothers. In the Bible, Cain and Abel and Jacob and Esau are prominent examples. The legendary founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus, were twin brothers. In the middle ages King John and Richard the Lionhearted were brothers. Modern day famous brothers include the Marx brothers, politicians George and Jeb Bush, and actors Luke, Owen, and Andrew Wilson.

Why not tell us about your brother? Leave a comment about your brother or any famous brother we may have missed in our information. Check “post to Facebook” to share it with your friends.

Gay Dad

Do you have a gay dad? If so, you’re not alone. Statistics show four to six million children have a gay parent. Also, nearly 65,000 adopted children are being raised by gay couples. This number represents four percent of all adoptions in the United States. In some cases, this includes gay dads.

A person can have a gay dad in several ways. In many cases, the gay dad pretended to be straight for many years and even married. Many older men did this because homosexuality was socially unacceptable in the past. Sometimes, a gay dad will use a surrogate mother to have children. In other cases, gay dads adopt children in states where this is legal.

In the United States, there is strong opposition to gay parenting among certain segments of the population, especially religious conservatives and other traditionalist people. Liberals and libertarians typically support or take no position on gay dads. Several states have legalized gay adoption. Of course, in cases where a gay dad has a child with a woman, he has the same rights as a straight man.

If you do have a gay dad don’t be ashamed. Lots of people grow up with a gay dad. I know several men and women who have gay dads. In some cases, they thought their gay dad was straight for many years. It wasn’t easy for them to accept him, but in the end, they did. Here are a few of the tips I gave them to deal with the stress and to learn to accept their gay dads.

First, realize that your gay dad did not become gay because of you. Most likely your dad was attracted to men while he was with your mom. Your gay dad was living with feelings he thought he could control and he probably felt very guilty. Imagine living your life like your gay dad. It had to be tough. So, when he came out of the closet, it was probably a huge relief for him. It wasn’t about hurting you or your mother.

Second, your gay dad may identify a little differently, but he’s still the same dad you’ve always known. Thus, your gay dad is the same man who showed you love growing up, taught you how to ride a bike, etc. Just because your dad is gay doesn’t mean any of that is fake or a lie. Your gay dad still loves you a lot as a parent.

Finally, resist the urge to pry about the private life of your gay dad. You may be personally bothered by homosexual behavior, but don’t let it affect your relationship with your father. You wouldn’t want your gay dad prying into your sex life, so give him the same courtesy. Don’t think about what your gay dad is doing or dwell on his boyfriends. Treat your gay dad like you would any other father.

I hope these tips will help you deal with your gay dads. Remember, a lot of people don’t have a father in their lives at all and would take  a gay dad over no dad any day. So, tell your dad how much you appreciate him today.

We hope you enjoyed these facts and advice about gay dads. If you want to share your opinion on the topic, leave a comment below. Click “post to Facebook” to share your thoughts with your wall.