August 23, 2014

I Hate My Dad

Did you recognize that more phone calls are made on Mother’s day than on just about any other day of the year except for maybe Christmas?  Likewise, did you know that far less calls are made on Father’s day than on Mother’s day?  A lot of people live their life saying I hate my dad.  People have a variety of reasons for saying I hate my dad, and here are a few of them and a couple of solutions on how to get passed them.  In my experience, a lot of troubles and even successes rely on our relationships with our Fathers.4. Some people say I hate my dad because they never knew him.  Especially in this culture, dads aren’t always present to take care of their kids.  Every so often they die young and tragically, other times they simply do not uphold their responsibility to take care of a child that they helped create.  Whereupon a dad is not present, really for any reason, a person might feel like they have been shunned, even if it wasn’t deliberate.  This can lead the person to say in the depth of their heart, or even out loud, I my hate dad.

3. Conceivably Dad wasn’t emotionally present.  This is even worse in some ways.  In some sense this is like abandonment but worse- this is the type of abandonment where dad was in the room, but for one reason or another was not emotionally present.  Can you imagine being in the same room with your dad and feel like he doesn’t love you?  I can see why someone might say I hate my dad because of that.  There may also be a lot of reasons that this happens- for instance, dad may have been an alcoholic, and so he was in the room, but too drunk to be emotionally present to his kids.  There are a variety of other reasons too, such as brain damage, or his own emotional trauma.  This can lead to deep sense of one saying, I hate my  dad.

2. Perhaps you say I hate my dad because he was emotionally or physically abusive.  This goes above abandonment (although in my opinion it is a type of emotional abandonment in like with #4).  This is where a dad may have been verbally or physically abusive.  Both are bad, because all physical abuse is in some way emotional abuse.  The problem with specifically verbal abuse is that it won’t leave marks or signs, and so at times people conclude that it may be in their head and have an added layer of guilt to the memory of abuse.  It is easy to see how someone who has been abused might say I hate my dad.

1. There are a lot of people out there who are survivors or sexual abuse from their dads.  I know that a lot of those folks say I hate my dad because of what he took from them.  Now and again it was a simple, inappropriate touch, and other times it could have gone far far worse than that.  Sexual abuse takes on a whole other level of trauma than physical and emotional abuse (although all sexual abuse is BOTH physical and emotional) and may take a lifetime to cope with.  The people that move on and live satisfied lives are the ones who move away from saying I hate my dad to people who forgive.

That is the last step, of course.  You have two choices in your life- you can let the hurt and the anger and resentment consume you, or you can move to acceptance and forgiving of your father.  You need to move from I hate my dad, to I forgive dad.  It isn’t for his sake either.  He may not need, or deserve, or want your forgiveness.  He may not change with it, and he may even be dead and gone.  Forgiveness is for the forgiver, and it may not even be possible to tell him you forgive him because it is unhealthy or unsafe to do so.  Forgiveness is for you, because when you choose to do it (and you may have to forgive him multiple times for the same thing) YOU are the one who feels at peace.  So forgive him, even in your heart, because forgiveness is far far better than saying I hate my dad your whole life.

Love and Romantic Text Messages

Are you here looking for love text messages? For free romantic ones? I am going to give you a few sample love text messages that are effective, which is to say, they will help you show you care without looking like an idiot. I have sorted them below by sex, since girls and guys should send different types of love texts. However, I also want to give you some secrets for writing love text messages below, because I believe that original love texts are far more effective than stealing love texts from the internet. Our free love texts are great – funny, confident, loving, effective, etc, but you really need to learn how to write your own. If you have ever gotten romantic texts you knew were swiped from the web, you know it doesn’t feel too special.

From males sent to females
u r pretty cool 4 a girl ;)
u look hot today…so wear less clothes
ur great, ur my 2nd favorite girlfriend
i’m busy, will txt later
ur lucky baby, since ur dating me
ur hotter a chile pepper floating on lava
it was great for u 2 meet me

From females sent to males
u rock my world :)
u are the man of my dreams
u look great today
i heart u
i have a surprise for u later ;)
ur hotter a chile pepper floating on lava

These are just samples. You will want to learn how to write your own love texts if you want to “wow” that special someone. Below I explain how to do it, again, divided by gals and guys. This is advice you won’t find elsewhere, but it is based on the science of human relationships.

Males
You have to be confident and funny in your love text message. It is all right to show that you care, but don’t be all gushy, passive, and needy. Don’t text her hundreds of times a day, and don’t text her back immediately. You are an excellent guy, right? This means you have better things to do than to write love texts all day. Even though girls claim to like a guy that caters to their every need, they don’t. Look at the jerks that a lot of women date; they aren’t gushing over their girls or telling them what they want to hear. It is the “nice guys” that are dateless, no matter what girls tell you they want. Women like confident guys. If you obey her every order, you will look weak and needy. The love texts I gave you above show confidence, and they are funny. They also show that you don’t care too much and that you have a life. Trust me, if you suggest that you can take or leave her, she will like you more. Again, no girl I know likes a needy dude that always kisses her butt in person or using romantic text messages.

Females
It’s ok to gush over a guy a little. He will appreciate it. However, don’t be too crazy. Guys like space. If they think you aren’t giving them space, they will leave you, and will label you as nuts. Many guys are afraid of commitment and will bail from a relationship fast if they think you are “closing in” on them. You want your love texts to be romantic, but not crazy. Don’t text things like “ur mine forever” or “we r soul mates” or something like that. That will scare most guys off. Also, don’t text him all day. Don’t send him texts all the time, and certainly don’t get mad when he doesn’t respond immediately. I know many guys and most do not like being bombarded with texts. Just be cool about it, and your love text messages will go over just fine!

Do you have any of your own love texts? Share them by leaving a comment below! Be sure to check “post to Facebook” so you can share them with your friends!

I Hate Dad

Did you know that more phone calls are made on Mother’s day than on just about any other day of the year except for maybe Christmas?  Likewise, did you know that far fewer calls are made on Father’s day than on Mother’s day?  A lot of people live their life saying I hate dad.  People have a variety of reasons for saying I hate dad, and here are a few of them and a couple of solutions on how to get passed them.  In my experience, a lot of troubles and even successes rely on our relationships with our Fathers.

4. Some people say I hate dad because they never knew him.  Especially in this culture, dads aren’t always present to take care of their kids.  Sometimes they die young and tragically, other times they simply do not uphold their responsibility to take care of a child that they helped create.  Whenever a dad is not present, really for any reason, a person might feel like they have been abandoned, even if it wasn’t deliberate.  This can lead the person to say in the depth of their heart, or even out loud, I hate dad.

3. Maybe Dad wasn’t emotionally present.  This is even worse in some ways.  In some sense this is like abandonment but worse- this is the type of abandonment where dad was in the room, but for one reason or another was not emotionally present.  Can you imagine being in the same room with your dad and feel like he doesn’t love you?  I can see why someone might say I hate dad because of that.  There may also be a lot of reasons that this happens- for instance, dad may have been an alcoholic, and so he was in the room, but too drunk to be emotionally present to his kids.  There are a variety of other reasons too, such as brain damage, or his own emotional trauma.  This can lead to deep sense of one saying, I hate dad.

2. Perhaps you say I hate dad because he was emotionally or physically abusive.  This goes beyond abandonment (although in my opinion it is a type of emotional abandonment in like with #4).  This is where a dad may have been verbally or physically abusive.  Both are bad, because all physical abuse is in some way emotional abuse.  The problem with specifically verbal abuse is that it won’t leave marks or signs, and so sometimes people think that it may be in their head and have an added layer of guilt to the memory of abuse.  It is easy to see how someone who has been abused might say I hate dad.

1. There are a lot of people out there who are survivors or sexual abuse from their dads.  I know that a lot of those folks say I hate dad because of what he took from them.  Sometimes it was a simple, inappropriate touch, and other times it could have gone far far worse than that.  Sexual abuse takes on a whole other level of trauma than physical and emotional abuse (although all sexual abuse is BOTH physical and emotional) and may take a lifetime to cope with.  The people that move on and live happy lives are the ones who move away from saying I hate dad to people who forgive.

That is the last step, of course.  You have two choices in your life- you can let the hurt and the anger and resentment consume you, or you can move to acceptance and forgiving of your father.  You need to move from I hate dad, to I forgive dad.  It isn’t for his sake either.  He may not need, or deserve, or want your forgiveness.  He may not change with it, and he may even be dead and gone.  Forgiveness is for the forgiver, and it may not even be possible to tell him you forgive him because it is unhealthy or unsafe to do so.  Forgiveness is for you, because when you choose to do it (and you may have to forgive him multiple times for the same thing) YOU are the one who feels at peace.  So forgive him, even in your heart, because forgiveness is far far better than saying I hate dad your whole life.

I Hate my Mom

I hate my mom is probably the hardest phrase for a mother to hear her kids say.  And there is always some point of a time as a parent where you may hear your little darling say, I hate my mom, either directly to you or about you.  Either way it is a difficult phrase to hear. Click here if you are the one who has said I hate mom.

If you are a mother who has been on the receiving end of this particular statement, or you are a dad who has heard his kid say that about his wife, then you know just how painful that a statement like this can be.  It can cause feelings of hurt, anger, confusion, frustration, and a whole group of other emotions.  You may react by crying, getting verbally angry, and in some cases, parents have even resorted to physical violence when a kid says I hate my mom out loud.

First of all, know that all kids say this at one point or another, simply because as children, they don’t have the faculties that adults (should) have in order to control their actions even in the midst of their intense emotions.  Kids might say I hate my mom because they didn’t get their way, or perhaps because they simply misunderstand that their mom is just doing their best in that situation.  I have heard kids say it in airports when they don’t get their way.

The important thing is that if you are on the receiving end of I hate my mom, that before you react or over react to this harsh statement, you deal with your own emotions.  If you are hurt, admit to yourself that you are hurt.  If angry, then admit to yourself that you are angry. If frustrated admit to yourself that you are frustrated.  You are allowed to feel these things if a kid has said, I hate my mom.

There is a reason that you need to address your own emotions first when you hear a kid say I hate my mom.  When we address and admit to feeling negative emotions, they get cut in half- the wind gets taken out of the sails of negative emotion.  I have found when I help someone acknowledge their emotions, or even when I do it to myself, you are able to calm down in a proper way and make good decisions.

How many things have gotten worse when a kid says I hate my mom if the parent over  reacts because they themselves cannot get a hold of their emotional state.  Once you have dealt with your own emotions on hearing I hate my mom, then it will be easier to take the appropriate course of action and discipline the child.  No child should get away with saying I hate my mom to his mother, but in order to do the right thing, you will need to be in check with your own emotional state.

Love Notes

Are you coming here looking for prepackaged love notes? For romantic notes? Well, I am not going to give you any of them. Why? I believe that original romantic notes are far more effective than canned, copied, and sample love notes so I am not going to give you any love notes here, but I will give you some general tips to write them. Trust me, a girl or guy is going to value something that is authentic and from you more than some piece of mushy crap you got off the internet.

Love Notes Idea 1
Use your own content. The worst love notes I have seen are form notes, and everybody knows they are written from somebody else’s perspective. I even hate getting form notes for my business, so why would a person like love notes that are that sterile, pre-made, and obviously written by somebody else? I recall a girl in high school that composed me a series of romantic notes, and the letters even included a few poems that she “wrote.” I thought they were rather cool, until I discovered that she took them from a popular teenage magazine at that time. At that point, they looked cheap and I didn’t really appreciate them. Man up and Woman up and compose your own love notes. no one wants a letter that some scary dude sitting in his parents’ basement penned and then posted online!

Love Notes Idea 2
Do not be too romantic. You might think I am crazy, but you definitely want things to be cool, especially you guys out there. You want to keep a little tension and some guessing in any relationship. The moment you write gushy over-the-top love notes you are basically saying “I’m yours forever,” which is an excellent way to mutilate the romance and ensure that you will be taking orders from the other person pretty soon. The moment you let your boyfriend or girlfriend know you are theirs, they will know that they can walk over you. So, keep it smooth, and don’t start going over-the-top with your love notes. You can tell another person “I love you” without being too weird, clingy, or gushy about it!

Love Notes Idea 3
Do not write them all the time. Nothing is worse than composing another person love notes each day (or even worse, more messages than that!). Remember, people like what they can’t have. It is called the principle of scarcity, and is rooted in the science of persuasion. The more scarce you are, the more excellent and desirable you seem to other people. If you have the free time to write a hundred love notes daily, that just screams that you are “low value” and not worth it. Take a breather from writing love notes to demonstrate to that special someone that you have a life.

Love Notes Idea 4
Another great idea that you won’t hear very often is to write love notes to lots of different people. Unless you are married or about to get married, it makes a lot of sense to “cast your nets wide” and date multiple people. If you are young and in school, remember to just have fun, meet a lot of new friends, and don’t get too obsessed about long-term commitments. You are a kid, so just have some freaking fun! I’m definitely not saying you need to be sleeping around or anything like that. I’m just emphasizing that you should hang out and have some fun with a variety of different people. Not much is worse than the girl or dude that drops off the earth to only spend their time with their girlfriend or boyfriend. When they break up, nobody wants to be with them!

I enjoy writing love notes and romantic notes, but you should know how to write them so you don’t make common mistakes, and you can most effectively say I love you to that special person.

Do you have any love notes you want to share with us and your friends? Any ideas? Did you write a love note recently? Comment in the section below and be sure to share your ideas with your social network by checking “post to Facebook!”

I Hate Mom

I can understand how you might say I hate mom.  Our mom is a really important part of how we grow up in our lives, and is probably the major influence as to who we are, and how we turn out.

Yet, some people say I hate my mom for a variety of reasons.  It is interesting, in most countries you have to apply to the state to get a drivers’s license or own a weapon.  But in every instance, a woman can be a mother by donating a few minutes of their time!  Not everyone is cut out to be a mother, but some become moms anyway.  There is no “rule book” or license to be a mother.  Of course, I am not saying we need to “license” parenthood, just saying that some women become mothers before they are ready.  Some are also never ready.

If you have said, either in your mind, or out loud, I hate mom, maybe your mom was one of these ladies.  That is not to say she was bad, but maybe she just wasn’t ready.  Be thankful, at least, that she said yes to having you.  I can say that no human being should ever be considered a “mistake.”

Some mothers learn to be mothers the wrong way because they had bad role models.  As one mentor of mine said, all of us are great students, but many of us had terrible teachers!

So if I hate mom is a regular thing on your mind, I can understand that.  If that is how you feel, that is how you feel, but in this particualr instance, and in every instance, hating anyone will ultimately hurt you more than it hurts them.

So if you say I hate my mom, then maybe it is time to forgive her- again more for your peace of mind than hers.  Forgiving someone doesn’t mean THEY will change, but it may mean that YOU will.

Don’t expect anything out of your mom than she has given you in your past.  People don’t change, so forgiving your mom will have the most impact on you- you can live without resentment and anger.  Those things are like poison to the soul.

So here are a couple of ideas about forgiveness in regards to your mother:

Remember, she did the best she could.

Forgiveness is a process, not a one time thing

You might have to forgive her over and over again for the same thing- any time a particular incident comes to mind, even if you have forgiven it once. Or maybe anytime you think of her!

If you have said, I hate mom, to her, maybe you owe her an apology.

Forgiveness is for the forgiver.

Even if your mom has died, you need to forgive her, for your own sake.

So if you are one of those people with I hate Mom is your heart, maybe the process to healing doesn’t start with changing her, but changing you and forgiving her.

I Hate Babies

Alright, I admit that sometimes I don’t like it when kids are in a restaurant crying, but that would never make me go as far as to say, I hate babies.  Who would say I hate babies?!  That is crazy!

A few years ago, Whitney Houston, the famous singer, wife of Bobby Brown, and renowned drug user and abuser, sang that the children are out future.  The children will be the ones to create hover skate boards and explore new worlds.  How can anyone say I hate babies?  Babies are the future of mankind!  Babies will eventually grow to be adults!

Here is the problem though, while I can’t say that I hate babies, sometimes I can’t stand the obnoxious adults that babies turn into.  This is a little known fact, that you, yourself, were once a baby!  Can you believe that?  I don’t know if you are obnoxious or not- I barely know you, but what I can say is that you are reading an article entitled I hate babies.

Seriously though, I can’t say I hate babies, but I can say that I am annoyed by them sometimes.  Especially when they are wailing and crying and making a general ruckus.  Also they poop a lot.  I really think I should go into the diaper business.  I would be a billionaire!

Recently, a friend of mine had a baby.  Well his wife had a baby, since that would hurt like hell for him to have one.  I have watched these new parents with their kid and I realize just how many times they have to change the babies diapers.  That alone might make me want to say I hate babies!  They are little poop machines!  Machines that make poop!  That is their soul purpose in life as babies.  That and to scream.

I actually know good, church going people who say I hate babies.  That is because the babies scream during church service and the parents refuse to take them out to calm them down.  Don’t sit in the front row at church and then not take the baby out!  So I guess I can’t say I hate babies, but I can say I don’t like parents who don’t take their damned kids out.  They don’t know any better, and indeed, they are our future!

I Hate Him

scowling little girlMan do I hate him!  I hate him for soooo many reasons, reasons I can’t hope to begin to count.  So what I will do, since I just can’t contain all of this hate, is to narrow it down to just five or so…

5. I hate him because he is so good looking!  I know I have heard this one a few times, simply because I am so damned good looking.  I have never said I hate him because he is good looking, because I have never found anyone as good looking as me.  So I feel bad about those guys that say I hate him for being good looking, because I know they are probably talking about me.  It is a tough thing to have to live my life being this good looking, but I know what it is like when people say I hate him becaue he is good looking.  Now only if I had some hair, and didn’t have this glass eye.  And I still had both arms.  Oh well. Sometimes I hate my boyfriend!

4. I have said I hate him when it comes to people that have better looking girlfriends than me.  Sure, I get jealous just like everyone else, but I am apparently only allowed to have one girlfriend, or my girlfriend says I hate him about me!  How can she hate me?  I would never say I hate him if I was her and had a great guy like me! I hate men!

3. She might say I hate him if he is being a jerk.  Now I always am the best around my lady friends- I always make them open the door for me and buy me dinner. I know that any girl that ays I hate him when I do this is not girlfriend of mine. Seriously… they tend not to talk to me again! I hate boys!

2. I hate him is a common expression I hear when I order coffee at Starbucks. They are there to serve ME right? Well then I want service with a smile and I want it now! I know that it is going to be a rough morning when I open the door to come in and the first thing that I hear is I hate him coming from the barrista. Just because I am assertive with my order doesn’t mean that I should receive your hatred! I am a great looking, funny, and interesting guy, and seriously, who could really hate someone with that much talent?

1. What is the number one reason you might say I hate him about someone… or even about me?! How could anyone hate me?!

 

I Love Babies

A baby smilingAs a woman, I love babies and most others do too. When we see a baby, any baby, we have to stop and look at it and even hold it. This is sometimes met with dismay from our husbands and boyfriends, who love babies, but wonder why we act so crazy around babies. Men often think that I am crazy because I love babies, but it is really natural for women to want a baby of their very own to love. The truth is that it is in a woman’s biological nature to love babies because it is through babies that we pass on our dreams and genes. Men should feel secure when a woman says I love babies to them they may simply mean I love babies and not I want a baby now! However, it could mean that she wants a baby of her own, because that urge is natural and built into females of all species.

There are many ways a couple can show that they love babies. By nursing at least the first two weeks of baby’s life, the mother will show that she loves her baby because it is a way to not only guarantee the baby will be healthy, but that the mother will have an attachment. As a mother, I love babies when I am breast feeding them because of the bonds it creates. Nursing helps to strengthen the mother baby love attachment, in a hormonally bonding way. Professionals recommend to show you love babies, it is best to nurse for two years. However this isn’t always possible for new mothers, and they should not worry if they can’t do it that long. There are many good formulas out there, but in terms of long term health, a breast fed baby is healthier.. A mother can love babies and create a similar bond with her baby by holding baby to her bare chest while feeding baby a bottle.

Sometimes the father who also loves babies may feel excluded because the chances to bond are not as numerous as with the mother. This can happen most often when excluded from the feeding routine of the baby. After the first two weeks of life a mother may start breast pumping so the father can say I love babies an truly mean it, by helping to feed his own. A father can also help the mother in other ways. Changing a poop filled diaper will help show not just the mother but the baby as well how much he loves them. Responding quickly to a baby’s cry will not spoil a baby, and in fact is necessary to show the proper love to a baby, especially in the first three months of life. Grandparents can also help out. I remember that my grandmother would always say I love babies and she would show it by helping my mother care for me in a variety of ways.

When babies cry it can be difficult, but just remember that the crying phase is short lived and not nearly as bad as when the babies become teenagers and mouth back. Seriously though, people cannot spoil their babies at a young age, so scoop the babies up and shower them with love. At Perfect Love Storm we are all about showing as much love as possible! Responding quickly to a baby’s cry will show that you love babies, especially in the first three months of life.

People who want to show they mean it when they say I love babies but do not have a baby of their own to love, can help out another mother who needs assistance. They can purchase formula and other baby items and donate them to groups that support mothers and babies in need. They can also show they love babies by offering to watch a friend’s baby, and giving the friend some nice time out..

I Hate Children

Doll buried in leavesOK so you Googled “I hate Children.”  I am not going to judge you because I don’t know why you Googled “I hate Children.”  I suspect there are a thousand reasons someone would Google this, and you have found this page, so I am going to just assume that you had your own goog reason for Googling this particular phrase.  You will find no judgement from us here at this website.  So I am going to try and guess 5 reasons why you may have typed “I Hate Children” into your search engine which got you here!

5. You might say I hate children because they are little food eating machines.  Holy crap can they eat!  I watched a 7 year old eat a whole bag of cheesy Doritos in one setting!  One setting!!!  He just ate and ate and ate… he even turned the bag upside down and ate the crumbs and licked his finger after.  Heck, I bet he would have eaten the bag had he been aloud to.  OK that kid was me when I was 7, but I didn’t judge you in the intro, don’t judge me now!  God, I love Doritos.  I can see why someone might say I hate children simply because they are tired of buying those little pudge-balls food all the time. Sometimes they just say I hate kids!

4. Another reason why you might say I hate Children is that they are noisy little things.  I don’t care if you are talking about a baby, or a toddler, or a 17 year old child, children are fricken loud!  Holy smokes!  The little babies are always crying, messing up things like my dinner in restaurants, or the sermon at church.  Actually, he is a terrible speaker, so I would much rather listen to the kid.  It is funny to watch the I hate children expression go over someone’s face when a baby starts crying in a public place.  If that is your baby, kindly take them out and calm them down.  And then never come back.  You are done for the night.  Get a sitter for goodness sakes. Some people say I hate babies! Can you believe that?!

3. I like my children, but when it comes to other people’s children, sometimes I can see why you might say, I hate children.  Your kids are great!  Your buddies kid is a nightmare.  You have thought about checking his scalp for the 666 that denotes the mark of the beast.  He may be the Devil incarnate.  Your kid, while they may have troubles, are not nearly as bad as that couple’s kid.  Did they let him get raised by wolves?  Geeze.

2. Some people say I hate children because they are surprises.  Some kids were… well… unexpected.  If you don’t want to risk a kid, don’t hook up.  Sex is there for one reason, primarily, having kids.  And yea, there are ways you can way reduce the risk, but no one ever looked at a baby and said, how did you get here?!

1. Kids are expensive, which makes some parents think, I hate kids.  Yep. that is all it takes sometimes.  $200,000 bucks by the time they leave college. Of course, that number is made up, because I don’t really want to research if it is right or not.  Personally, I don’t mind kids, but some of you out there do, or else you would not have typed “I Hate Children” into that handy search bar.

I would encourage comments, but it would make you look even worse for all your friends on Facebook…