Did you know that more phone calls are made on Mother’s day than on just about any other day of the year except for maybe Christmas?  Likewise, did you know that far fewer calls are made on Father’s day than on Mother’s day?  A lot of people live their life saying I hate dad.  People have a variety of reasons for saying I hate dad, and here are a few of them and a couple of solutions on how to get passed them.  In my experience, a lot of troubles and even successes rely on our relationships with our Fathers.

4. Some people say I hate dad because they never knew him.  Especially in this culture, dads aren’t always present to take care of their kids.  Sometimes they die young and tragically, other times they simply do not uphold their responsibility to take care of a child that they helped create.  Whenever a dad is not present, really for any reason, a person might feel like they have been abandoned, even if it wasn’t deliberate.  This can lead the person to say in the depth of their heart, or even out loud, I hate dad.

3. Maybe Dad wasn’t emotionally present.  This is even worse in some ways.  In some sense this is like abandonment but worse- this is the type of abandonment where dad was in the room, but for one reason or another was not emotionally present.  Can you imagine being in the same room with your dad and feel like he doesn’t love you?  I can see why someone might say I hate dad because of that.  There may also be a lot of reasons that this happens- for instance, dad may have been an alcoholic, and so he was in the room, but too drunk to be emotionally present to his kids.  There are a variety of other reasons too, such as brain damage, or his own emotional trauma.  This can lead to deep sense of one saying, I hate dad.

2. Perhaps you say I hate dad because he was emotionally or physically abusive.  This goes beyond abandonment (although in my opinion it is a type of emotional abandonment in like with #4).  This is where a dad may have been verbally or physically abusive.  Both are bad, because all physical abuse is in some way emotional abuse.  The problem with specifically verbal abuse is that it won’t leave marks or signs, and so sometimes people think that it may be in their head and have an added layer of guilt to the memory of abuse.  It is easy to see how someone who has been abused might say I hate dad.

1. There are a lot of people out there who are survivors or sexual abuse from their dads.  I know that a lot of those folks say I hate dad because of what he took from them.  Sometimes it was a simple, inappropriate touch, and other times it could have gone far far worse than that.  Sexual abuse takes on a whole other level of trauma than physical and emotional abuse (although all sexual abuse is BOTH physical and emotional) and may take a lifetime to cope with.  The people that move on and live happy lives are the ones who move away from saying I hate dad to people who forgive.

That is the last step, of course.  You have two choices in your life- you can let the hurt and the anger and resentment consume you, or you can move to acceptance and forgiving of your father.  You need to move from I hate dad, to I forgive dad.  It isn’t for his sake either.  He may not need, or deserve, or want your forgiveness.  He may not change with it, and he may even be dead and gone.  Forgiveness is for the forgiver, and it may not even be possible to tell him you forgive him because it is unhealthy or unsafe to do so.  Forgiveness is for you, because when you choose to do it (and you may have to forgive him multiple times for the same thing) YOU are the one who feels at peace.  So forgive him, even in your heart, because forgiveness is far far better than saying I hate dad your whole life.

I hate my mom is probably the hardest phrase for a mother to hear her kids say.  And there is always some point of a time as a parent where you may hear your little darling say, I hate my mom, either directly to you or about you.  Either way it is a difficult phrase to hear. Click here if you are the one who has said I hate mom.

If you are a mother who has been on the receiving end of this particular statement, or you are a dad who has heard his kid say that about his wife, then you know just how painful that a statement like this can be.  It can cause feelings of hurt, anger, confusion, frustration, and a whole group of other emotions.  You may react by crying, getting verbally angry, and in some cases, parents have even resorted to physical violence when a kid says I hate my mom out loud.

First of all, know that all kids say this at one point or another, simply because as children, they don’t have the faculties that adults (should) have in order to control their actions even in the midst of their intense emotions.  Kids might say I hate my mom because they didn’t get their way, or perhaps because they simply misunderstand that their mom is just doing their best in that situation.  I have heard kids say it in airports when they don’t get their way.

The important thing is that if you are on the receiving end of I hate my mom, that before you react or over react to this harsh statement, you deal with your own emotions.  If you are hurt, admit to yourself that you are hurt.  If angry, then admit to yourself that you are angry. If frustrated admit to yourself that you are frustrated.  You are allowed to feel these things if a kid has said, I hate my mom.

There is a reason that you need to address your own emotions first when you hear a kid say I hate my mom.  When we address and admit to feeling negative emotions, they get cut in half- the wind gets taken out of the sails of negative emotion.  I have found when I help someone acknowledge their emotions, or even when I do it to myself, you are able to calm down in a proper way and make good decisions.

How many things have gotten worse when a kid says I hate my mom if the parent over  reacts because they themselves cannot get a hold of their emotional state.  Once you have dealt with your own emotions on hearing I hate my mom, then it will be easier to take the appropriate course of action and discipline the child.  No child should get away with saying I hate my mom to his mother, but in order to do the right thing, you will need to be in check with your own emotional state.

I can understand how you might say I hate mom.  Our mom is a really important part of how we grow up in our lives, and is probably the major influence as to who we are, and how we turn out.

Yet, some people say I hate my mom for a variety of reasons.  It is interesting, in most countries you have to apply to the state to get a drivers’s license or own a weapon.  But in every instance, a woman can be a mother by donating a few minutes of their time!  Not everyone is cut out to be a mother, but some become moms anyway.  There is no “rule book” or license to be a mother.  Of course, I am not saying we need to “license” parenthood, just saying that some women become mothers before they are ready.  Some are also never ready.

If you have said, either in your mind, or out loud, I hate mom, maybe your mom was one of these ladies.  That is not to say she was bad, but maybe she just wasn’t ready.  Be thankful, at least, that she said yes to having you.  I can say that no human being should ever be considered a “mistake.”

Some mothers learn to be mothers the wrong way because they had bad role models.  As one mentor of mine said, all of us are great students, but many of us had terrible teachers!

So if I hate mom is a regular thing on your mind, I can understand that.  If that is how you feel, that is how you feel, but in this particualr instance, and in every instance, hating anyone will ultimately hurt you more than it hurts them.

So if you say I hate my mom, then maybe it is time to forgive her- again more for your peace of mind than hers.  Forgiving someone doesn’t mean THEY will change, but it may mean that YOU will.

Don’t expect anything out of your mom than she has given you in your past.  People don’t change, so forgiving your mom will have the most impact on you- you can live without resentment and anger.  Those things are like poison to the soul.

So here are a couple of ideas about forgiveness in regards to your mother:

Remember, she did the best she could.

Forgiveness is a process, not a one time thing

You might have to forgive her over and over again for the same thing- any time a particular incident comes to mind, even if you have forgiven it once. Or maybe anytime you think of her!

If you have said, I hate mom, to her, maybe you owe her an apology.

Forgiveness is for the forgiver.

Even if your mom has died, you need to forgive her, for your own sake.

So if you are one of those people with I hate Mom is your heart, maybe the process to healing doesn’t start with changing her, but changing you and forgiving her.

Alright, I admit that sometimes I don’t like it when kids are in a restaurant crying, but that would never make me go as far as to say, I hate babies.  Who would say I hate babies?!  That is crazy!

A few years ago, Whitney Houston, the famous singer, wife of Bobby Brown, and renowned drug user and abuser, sang that the children are out future.  The children will be the ones to create hover skate boards and explore new worlds.  How can anyone say I hate babies?  Babies are the future of mankind!  Babies will eventually grow to be adults!

Here is the problem though, while I can’t say that I hate babies, sometimes I can’t stand the obnoxious adults that babies turn into.  This is a little known fact, that you, yourself, were once a baby!  Can you believe that?  I don’t know if you are obnoxious or not- I barely know you, but what I can say is that you are reading an article entitled I hate babies.

Seriously though, I can’t say I hate babies, but I can say that I am annoyed by them sometimes.  Especially when they are wailing and crying and making a general ruckus.  Also they poop a lot.  I really think I should go into the diaper business.  I would be a billionaire!

Recently, a friend of mine had a baby.  Well his wife had a baby, since that would hurt like hell for him to have one.  I have watched these new parents with their kid and I realize just how many times they have to change the babies diapers.  That alone might make me want to say I hate babies!  They are little poop machines!  Machines that make poop!  That is their soul purpose in life as babies.  That and to scream.

I actually know good, church going people who say I hate babies.  That is because the babies scream during church service and the parents refuse to take them out to calm them down.  Don’t sit in the front row at church and then not take the baby out!  So I guess I can’t say I hate babies, but I can say I don’t like parents who don’t take their damned kids out.  They don’t know any better, and indeed, they are our future!