3. Conceivably Dad wasn’t emotionally present. This is even worse in some ways. In some sense this is like abandonment but worse- this is the type of abandonment where dad was in the room, but for one reason or another was not emotionally present. Can you imagine being in the same room with your dad and feel like he doesn’t love you? I can see why someone might say I hate my dad because of that. There may also be a lot of reasons that this happens- for instance, dad may have been an alcoholic, and so he was in the room, but too drunk to be emotionally present to his kids. There are a variety of other reasons too, such as brain damage, or his own emotional trauma. This can lead to deep sense of one saying, I hate my dad.
2. Perhaps you say I hate my dad because he was emotionally or physically abusive. This goes above abandonment (although in my opinion it is a type of emotional abandonment in like with #4). This is where a dad may have been verbally or physically abusive. Both are bad, because all physical abuse is in some way emotional abuse. The problem with specifically verbal abuse is that it won’t leave marks or signs, and so at times people conclude that it may be in their head and have an added layer of guilt to the memory of abuse. It is easy to see how someone who has been abused might say I hate my dad.
1. There are a lot of people out there who are survivors or sexual abuse from their dads. I know that a lot of those folks say I hate my dad because of what he took from them. Now and again it was a simple, inappropriate touch, and other times it could have gone far far worse than that. Sexual abuse takes on a whole other level of trauma than physical and emotional abuse (although all sexual abuse is BOTH physical and emotional) and may take a lifetime to cope with. The people that move on and live satisfied lives are the ones who move away from saying I hate my dad to people who forgive.
That is the last step, of course. You have two choices in your life- you can let the hurt and the anger and resentment consume you, or you can move to acceptance and forgiving of your father. You need to move from I hate my dad, to I forgive dad. It isn’t for his sake either. He may not need, or deserve, or want your forgiveness. He may not change with it, and he may even be dead and gone. Forgiveness is for the forgiver, and it may not even be possible to tell him you forgive him because it is unhealthy or unsafe to do so. Forgiveness is for you, because when you choose to do it (and you may have to forgive him multiple times for the same thing) YOU are the one who feels at peace. So forgive him, even in your heart, because forgiveness is far far better than saying I hate my dad your whole life.