Gay Dad

Do you have a gay dad? If so, you’re not alone. Statistics show four to six million children have a gay parent. Also, nearly 65,000 adopted children are being raised by gay couples. This number represents four percent of all adoptions in the United States. In some cases, this includes gay dads.

A person can have a gay dad in several ways. In many cases, the gay dad pretended to be straight for many years and even married. Many older men did this because homosexuality was socially unacceptable in the past. Sometimes, a gay dad will use a surrogate mother to have children. In other cases, gay dads adopt children in states where this is legal.

In the United States, there is strong opposition to gay parenting among certain segments of the population, especially religious conservatives and other traditionalist people. Liberals and libertarians typically support or take no position on gay dads. Several states have legalized gay adoption. Of course, in cases where a gay dad has a child with a woman, he has the same rights as a straight man.

If you do have a gay dad don’t be ashamed. Lots of people grow up with a gay dad. I know several men and women who have gay dads. In some cases, they thought their gay dad was straight for many years. It wasn’t easy for them to accept him, but in the end, they did. Here are a few of the tips I gave them to deal with the stress and to learn to accept their gay dads.

First, realize that your gay dad did not become gay because of you. Most likely your dad was attracted to men while he was with your mom. Your gay dad was living with feelings he thought he could control and he probably felt very guilty. Imagine living your life like your gay dad. It had to be tough. So, when he came out of the closet, it was probably a huge relief for him. It wasn’t about hurting you or your mother.

Second, your gay dad may identify a little differently, but he’s still the same dad you’ve always known. Thus, your gay dad is the same man who showed you love growing up, taught you how to ride a bike, etc. Just because your dad is gay doesn’t mean any of that is fake or a lie. Your gay dad still loves you a lot as a parent.

Finally, resist the urge to pry about the private life of your gay dad. You may be personally bothered by homosexual behavior, but don’t let it affect your relationship with your father. You wouldn’t want your gay dad prying into your sex life, so give him the same courtesy. Don’t think about what your gay dad is doing or dwell on his boyfriends. Treat your gay dad like you would any other father.

I hope these tips will help you deal with your gay dads. Remember, a lot of people don’t have a father in their lives at all and would take  a gay dad over no dad any day. So, tell your dad how much you appreciate him today.

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