May 20, 2012

How To Make Friends

How to make friends? As a confidence coach, I hear people ask me this question all the time because they have no idea how to make friends. They are frustrated and upset because they see other people with their group of friends and can’t understand why they’re lonely. In most cases the people wondering how to make friends are normal, even successful people. They just have a hard time meeting others on a regular basis.

Does that last paragraph sound like you? Are you wondering how to make friends? If so, keep reading for my three easy tips explaining how to make a friend right now.

Tip 1: Detachment

My first tip on how to make friends is this: detach. If you are desperate to get friends, you probably come across, even if you don’t know it, as needy and attached. Some people are so worried about figuring how to make friends, they seem upright and anxious. Whenever you go out to meet others, don’t worry about getting friends. Just relax and enjoy your time out.

Detachment isn’t an easy task. However, there are some ways to achieve it. Activities like prayer and meditation can help. I like to give myself ten minutes of quiet time each day. Also, just try to be happy in whatever you do and not caught up in the number of friends you have or figuring out a bunch of ways to learn how to make friends when you’re out trying to meet them.

Tip 2: Be Where You’re Comfortable

Find friendship by hanging out in areas with people who share your interests. If you like music, then you should be attending concerts, not going to sports bars (unless you like sports too). Most people wondering how to make friends assume they have to go to bars and dance clubs to meet people. While those are decent places to meet friends, you won’t have any success if you’re stressed out and unhappy.

Don’t just sit around searching for how to make friends, but actually take the initiative and go out to places you enjoy and be seen in public. Trust me, no one is going to come to your house begging you to be their friend! No one will ever learn how to make a friend by sitting in their bedroom all day.

Tip 3: Approach People

But what if you are out in public and still don’t know how to make friends? The answer is to approach people. Don’t make it creepy, but try to find common ground. For example, say to a guy at a festival, “Have you heard that band’s newest single?” or a girl can compliment someone’s handbag. You may not become friends with that person instantly, but you are at least getting to know more people.

Tip 4: Seal the Deal

If you want to know how to make a friend, you need to focus on closing the deal. If you can’t get their number or another way of contacting them, you’ll still be friendless. Fortunately, in this age of social media, the close is easy. Just ask if they’re on Facebook and tell them you’d like to add them. If that’s too hard, then bring up Facebook, maybe talking about something funny you saw there. The person will usually volunteer that they are on Facebook as well. Then you can add them. No more wondering how to make a friend because you’ll have one!

Hopefully, you’ve learned how to make friends. If you have your own advice on how to make a friend, or just want to be heard, leave a comment. Click “post to Facebook” and share it with your friends too.

Comments

Powered by Facebook Comments