September 19, 2014

I Hate My Girlfriend

I have said this a few times in my life!  Sometimes, I hate my girlfriend!  Sometimes I hate my girlfriend a lot!

5.  I hate my girlfriend because she has such crabby friends!  Her friends are always making fun of me and telling her to leave me!  I like my girlfriend, but I think I hate her friends, and sometimes that makes me hate my girlfriend!  I guess they are a package deal!

4.  That reminds me, I hate my girlfriend, when she goes to the bathroom in a pack with all of her friends!  Why do they go together in packs?  Are they plotting to kill me and rob me  I have nothing to steal!  I am just a poor guy trying to make it in the world!  I hate my girlfriend when she goes to the bathroom with the herd!  What are they talking about in there!?!

3. I hate my girlfriend when she wears too much makeup… doesn’t she know she looks better without it?  She is a pretty girl with a great personality, and I hate my girlfriend when she tries to cover it up with all that junk!  I do like it when she dyes her hair pink though… rowr!

2.  I hate my girlfriend when she spends all of my money!  Remember number 4?  I am just a poor dude trying to make it in the world, and you need me to take you to Applebees again?!  Don’t you ever get tired of their spaghetti?!  Wouldn’t you rather go to Taco Bell instead?!  For 5 bucks we can  eat like queen and kings!  Royalty… and baby, you deserve the best… that… Taco Bell has to offer.


1. I hate my girlfriend when she takes forever to get ready before we go out on a date.  I have seen you before- why the heck does it take you 45 extra minutes to get ready?  It only too me 15 minute to get ready and I look fantastic!  I guess it is hard being as good looking as me, so I get it.  You are lucky to be with me sweety…

How about you?  When have you said I hate my girlfriend?  Comment below to let us know!




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