September 3, 2014

Nephew

The basic definition of a nephew is the male son of someone’s brother or sister. A nephew can be related through blood, but a nephew can also be related through marriage. How a nephew is related isn’t even that important. What matters most is that nephews can count on their aunt and uncle during rough patches. A nephew should be able to get advice, facts, and unconditional love from his aunt and uncle, especially if he can’t get that at home.

I have a favorite nephew who goes by Buzz. His real name is Chase. I’m lucky to have a loving and considerate nephew since some people don’t even have a nephew. I tried hard to be a good uncle to my nephew and wanted to share my tips about how to have a positive relationship with your nephews. These tips and advice are especially valuable if your nephew had a traumatic childhood or was missing a father.

First, you’ll probably have to initiate contact with your nephews. A nephew, especially a preteen or teenager may not reach out to an adult because he doesn’t think it’s cool. You need to pick something fun to do with your nephew, like going to a sports game or a concert. If your nephew doesn’t trust adults, especially if he has no father in his life, don’t expect him to warm up immediately. Be patient and let your nephew move at his own pace. Don’t try to push him to talk or he may withdraw.

Second, once your nephew trusts you and likes you, you must be an active listener. A nephew, like most teens, probably has a natural distrust of his parents, believing that they judge him or don’t like him. Don’t interrupt him, yell at him, or condemn your nephew because then you turn into just another adult. Let your nephew share his thoughts and then repeat what he says back to him so he knows you’re listening. Don’t give advice to your nephews yet.

Finally, once you’ve built trust, you can share your wisdom with your nephew. Be nice and generous , but don’t become so familiar that you can’t be the adult if your nephew needs you. For example, if your nephew threatens to kill himself, you must call for help, even if your nephew dislikes you for awhile.

Thus, you can grow closer to your nephew and be a good influence in his life, especially if you are a male role model. It isn’t difficult to have a good relationship with your nephews. A good friendship with your nephew just takes a little of your time, a lot of patience, and good sense in knowing when to keep your mouth closed.

If you have a favorite nephew or just want to share your own advice about nephews, leave a comment in the box below. Click “post to Facebook” to share your thoughts with your Facebook friends.

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