April 20, 2014

Stepson

A stepson is a male child who joins a blended family. Thus, he is related to either the mother or father in the blended family. The parent he is not related to biologically is called a step-father or step-mother. Stepson is sometimes spelled as two words: step son.

The stepson doesn’t have it easy. A step son has to put up with divorce, a new marriage, a new family with new siblings, and maybe relocation. In most cases the stepson has to deal with these problems as a child. And if a new, biological son of the couple is born, the step son must handle even more difficult feelings like jealousy. I’ve developed a few techniques to help parents and their stepson.

If you’re a stepson yourself or the parent of a step son, you have to accept one important truth. Life is about both giving and taking. A stepson must never get his way all the time and the parent must always be willing to compromise when it’s appropriate. If the parent was a single mother and spoiled the stepson, both parties must break that expectation for the new blended, family to work. The parents and step son should come to an agreement that benefits every family member, not just one single person.

Second, the stepson and his parents have to be consistent on giving and receiving discipline. A step son may try to turn his natural parent against the new step-parent. This behavior can poison the new family’s life if not stopped immediately. The natural parent may want to handle all discipline issues or give some to the step parent. However, the natural parent must back up the step-parent fully. The step son needs then listen to the step parent and not argue.

Third, if a new child is born, the stepson could deal with jealous feelings which may lead to angry outbursts. Try to get the stepson to bond with the new baby and even give him responsibilities so that he feels connected to the new child. But, don’t ever force the step son to be your babysitter or he may resent the new child and feel hostility towards the parents too.

Finally, the stepson and his parents must make sure the family is loving. While love can never be equal (a step son may develop a keeping score mentality), always make an effort to show the step son the same love and interest you give the non step son. The stepson should give love and respect to his step-parent too.

Thus, a stepson and parents of the step son can definitely make a healthy and happy blended family. It’s never going to be perfect, for sure, but with these techniques, the stepson and his family members can avoid the problems that plague so many blended families.

If you have more advice about raising a stepson, please leave a comment. Click “post to Facebook” so share your thoughts on your wall.

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